Lately, I have been talking to a close friend who seems to be struggling with depression and a lot of negativity.
On the outside, she seems like a very strong and independent woman.
But on the inside, she told me that she is suffering and hurting.
So I shared with her a “poem of encouragement.”
I thought I would share it with you as well because we can always use more encouragement in our lives.
Especially if you are feeling stressed or depressed lately.
Don’t bottle it up inside. Focus on releasing all that negativity so you can let more positivity come into your lives.
The inability to receive support from others is a trauma response.
Your “I don’t need anyone, I’ll just do it all myself” conditioning is a survival tactic.
And you needed it to shield your heart from abuse, neglect, betrayal, and disappointment from those who could not or would not be there for you.
From the parent who was absent and abandoned you by choice or the parent who was never home from working three jobs to feed and house you.
From the lovers who offered sexual intimacy but never offered a safe haven that honored your heart.
From the friendships and family who ALWAYS took more than they ever gave.
From all the situations when someone told you “we’re in this together” or “I got you” then abandoned you, leaving you to pick up the pieces when shit got real, leaving you to handle your part and their part, too.
From all the lies and all the betrayals.
You learned along the way that you just couldn’t really trust people. Or that you could trust people, but only up to a certain point.
Extreme-independence IS. A. TRUST. ISSUE.
You learned: if I don’t put myself in a situation where I rely on someone, I won’t be disappointed when they don’t show up for me, or when they drop the ball... because they will ALWAYS drop the ball EVENTUALLY right?
Extreme independence is a preemptive strike against heartbreak.
So, you don’t trust anyone.
You don’t trust yourself, either, to choose people.
To trust is to hope, to trust is to be vulnerable.
“Never again,” has been your vow?
No matter how you dress it up and display it proudly to make it seem like this level of independence is what you always wanted to be, in truth it’s your wounded, scarred, the broken heart behind a protective brick wall.
Impenetrable. Nothing gets in. No hurt gets in. But no love gets in either.
Fortresses and armor are for those in battle, or who believe the battle is coming. It’s a trauma response.
The good news is trauma that is acknowledged is trauma that can be healed.
You are worthy of having support.
You are worthy of having a true partnership.
You are worthy of love.
You are worthy of having your heart held.
You are worthy of being adored.
You are worthy of being cherished.
You are worthy of having someone say, “You rest. I got this.” And actually deliver on that promise.
You don’t have to bargain for it.
You don’t have to beg for it.
You are worthy.
Because you exist.
I hope that no matter what you are struggling with on the inside, you will be able to lean on someone else for love and support.
Because you are worthy and deserve all that love and support.
If you know a close friend or family member who needs to hear this, forward this poem of encouragement to them.
They will thank you for it.
Sending you lots of love and light.
P.S. Also, if you like some crystals for dealing with depression or negativity, I have some crystals that will help you with that.
- Black Tourmaline is known for its ability to positively transform and “cleanse” negative energy so you will be able to become more positive
- Hematite is beneficial for issues surrounding the root chakra and soothes irrational fears, worries about survival, and feelings of insecurity so you will no longer be afraid to go outside
- This smooth, dark crystal is known to protect its owner from harmful spirits, psychic attacks, and black magic. It’s theorized to capture and ground negative influences, acting as a shield of sorts so you will be safe from evil spirits